


above all that we ask or think

by harpers_mirror (SapphireBryony)



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 01:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17571383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireBryony/pseuds/harpers_mirror
Summary: An angel and a demon walk into an art gallery.





	above all that we ask or think

“Crowley...”

“Yes, angel?” the demon replied, peering at the painting hanging in front of them.

Aziraphale coughed. “Doesn’t this seem, well, just the tiniest bit narcissistic to you?”

“Do you  _ really  _ think I’m the best person to ask, angel?” Crowley grinned, showing a flash of sharp teeth. “I mean, it’s true that I  _ am _ an authority on all things sinfully self-absorbed, but, as I tend to view those as good things, I don’t know that I’m particularly qualified to answer that question to your satisfaction.” 

Gesturing toward the large canvas before them, he asked his companion. “Besides, isn’t it fun to see what the humans got right and what they got terribly, terribly wrong?”

“It  _ is _ very interesting,” Aziraphale admitted, peering at the painting. “The poor dears really do have the  _ strangest _ ideas about how we all dressed back then. Imagine wearing a ruff or gartered stockings in the middle of the Judean desert...”

“To say nothing of their depictions of your lot,” Crowley said. “Did you see the fellow over there with all the flaming eyes and arms?”

Aziraphale nodded absently. “Actually, based on the available contemporary translations of the Scripture, that’s not a bad interpretation. Not that it’s not wildly inaccurate, but still, you have to admire their imagination.”

“I saw enough of humanity’s boundless imagination during the Inquisition,” replied Crowley, shuddering. “But you’re not wrong, angel. They are a terrifying, clever lot of elevated apes. Have you seen this newest marvel they’ve come up with? They’ve taken to calling it the ‘horseless carriage.’ Typical humans, defining something by what it’s not. But it’s quite promising. Definitely the work of my side.”

“Crowley, you think every new contraption is the work of your side. Heaven  _ does _ inspire some nice things from time to time.” Aziraphale thought for a moment, considering. “The washboard was one of ours.  _ And _ spoked wheels.”

“Thrilling,” Crowley replied, his voice dry. “Tell me angel, didn’t your side also ‘inspire’ that one type of lamp oil that was all the rage about half a century ago? The kind that exploded with alarming frequency? What was it called...”

“Never mind that,” said Aziraphale. “And I hardly think one litte misstep like that is comparable to things like the rack or slavery or journalists.”

“Journalists,” said Crowley, “have set far fewer people on fire.”

“Well now I hardly think that’s either true or a real basis for comparing the relative merits of a creation. Anyway, what about that time in Rome - oh my dear, just look at how this silly human has painted you. You never had  _ three heads _ to the best of my recollection.”

“A failing on my part to be sure,” answered Crowley, gazing wistfully at the painting. “I’ll have to remember to try that some time. Oh  _ angel, _ did you see this one?”

“Which?”

“The little frieze over here, the marble one. You have a scimitar...”

Snarking cheerfully, the angel and demon strolled off arm-in-arm through the rest of the museum gallery.


End file.
